Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize