my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
