take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
