Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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