Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
