I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
