So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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