It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize