yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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