i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Yo dont text me then not text me
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
