I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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