There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
