that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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