oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
