It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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