i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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