okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
