We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
