Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
