Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
