I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
