the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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