She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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