Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
