God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
