There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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