You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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