Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize