At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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