Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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