I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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