did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
drinking out of a sandbucket again
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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