Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
