sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
