I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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