I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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