Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
