Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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