Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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