I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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