she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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