I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
