Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
