now i know why i became what i already was.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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