i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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