We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
