I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
