I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
