i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
