god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You can't special order awesome
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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