I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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