And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize