I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
