You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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