I cannot find my penis.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
