So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Why is your signature on my underwear?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
