i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
