I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
