We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
