Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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