Swine flu. Run for my life!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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