don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
