In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
