Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
