my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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