Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
