About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
